Celebrating the Holidays After a Divorce: Tips for Creating New Traditions and Finding Joy

The holiday season can be a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration—but for those who have recently gone through a divorce, it can also be a period of mixed emotions and stress. Divorce brings changes to family dynamics, which may disrupt the traditional ways you’ve celebrated holidays in the past. However, the holidays can still be meaningful and joyful, offering an opportunity to create new traditions and strengthen family bonds.

At Borntreger Law in Tallahassee, we understand the emotional and logistical challenges that can arise during this time of year. In this blog, we’ll offer tips on how to celebrate the holidays after a divorce, focus on the positive aspects of your new life, and find ways to enjoy this special season.

1. Embrace New Traditions

One of the most empowering things you can do after a divorce is to create new holiday traditions. While it’s natural to feel a sense of loss over the way things used to be, this is also an opportunity to reinvent your celebrations and focus on what truly matters—family, love, and connection.

Ideas for New Traditions:

• Create a “New Year’s Gratitude Jar”: Start a family tradition where each member writes down something they’re grateful for throughout the year, and then share them on New Year's Eve or Day. This is a great way to bring positivity into the holiday season.
• Volunteer as a Family: Giving back during the holidays can be a healing experience and help create a sense of purpose. Volunteer at a local charity or soup kitchen and turn it into an annual event.
• Celebrate Holiday Mornings Differently: If Christmas or another holiday morning looks different this year due to custody arrangements, consider having a special breakfast or a unique gift-giving tradition to make the time you do have together memorable.

Adapting new ways to celebrate allows you and your children to focus on the present and future rather than dwelling on past memories. For more ideas on creating new holiday traditions, check out Psychology Today’s article on building meaningful traditions post-divorce: Psychology Today - Creating New Holiday Traditions.

2. Prioritize Open Communication

For divorced parents, co-parenting during the holidays can be complicated, especially if emotions are still raw. Open and respectful communication with your ex-spouse is essential for making the holiday season as smooth as possible for your children. Discuss and agree upon holiday schedules in advance so everyone knows what to expect, and be flexible if needed.

Tips for Healthy Co-Parenting During the Holidays:

• Plan Early: Avoid last-minute stress by discussing holiday schedules well in advance. Share your plans with the children so they feel included and prepared.
• Focus on the Children’s Needs: Keep the focus on what is best for your children, rather than letting personal grievances influence your decisions. The goal is for them to have an enjoyable holiday season, regardless of how time is divided.
• Be Open to Compromise: Whether it’s alternating holiday years or splitting special days, be willing to negotiate and compromise to ensure the best outcome for your family.

For more advice on successful co-parenting through the holidays, the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers offers a guide to help divorced parents navigate the season: AAML - Holiday Co-Parenting Tips.

3. Practice Self-Care

The holidays can be emotionally draining for anyone, but they can feel particularly overwhelming when you’re navigating them after a divorce. It’s easy to get caught up in making sure your children are happy and cared for, but don’t forget about yourself in the process.

Ways to Take Care of Yourself During the Holidays:

• Set Boundaries: It’s okay to say no to certain events or obligations if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Prioritize your well-being and don’t overextend yourself.
• Seek Support: Surround yourself with friends and family who lift you up during this time. If you’re struggling emotionally, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor for support.
• Create Personal Holiday Rituals: Whether it’s treating yourself to a favorite meal, going for a holiday walk, or having a solo movie night, embrace moments that are just for you.

For additional self-care tips tailored for the holiday season, visit Verywell Mind’s guide to mental health during the holidays: Verywell Mind - 10 Ways to Stay Mentally Strong During the Holidays.

4. Maintain a Sense of Stability for Your Children

Divorce brings a lot of changes for children, and the holiday season can highlight those changes even more. It’s important to provide them with a sense of stability and continuity, even if things are different this year. Reassure them that, while the family structure may have changed, the love and care they receive from both parents remain constant.

Tips for Supporting Your Children:

• Acknowledge Their Feelings: Children may experience sadness, anger, or confusion during the holidays. Let them know it’s okay to feel that way, and be available to listen and comfort them.
• Be Consistent: Stick to the agreed-upon holiday schedule and make sure transitions between households are as smooth as possible. Stability in routine can help alleviate stress for children during this time.
• Celebrate Together if Possible: If you and your ex-spouse are on good terms, consider celebrating certain parts of the holidays together—whether it’s opening presents on Christmas morning or attending a school play. Seeing their parents get along can be a huge comfort to children.

5. Let Go of Perfection

The first holiday season after a divorce will likely come with a lot of emotions, and it’s important to let go of the idea that everything needs to be “perfect.” Things may not go exactly as planned, and that’s okay. Focus on the moments of joy and connection that do happen, even if they look different than in years past.

Give yourself permission to experience the holidays in your own way—whether that means keeping things low-key or going all out with decorations and festivities. There is no right or wrong way to celebrate after a divorce.

Conclusion

While celebrating the holidays after a divorce may feel challenging, it can also be a time to build new traditions, prioritize self-care, and focus on the love that remains within your family. By creating positive experiences and keeping communication open, you can ensure a joyful holiday season for both yourself and your children.

At Borntreger Law, we understand the unique challenges that come with divorce, especially around the holidays. If you need support in navigating post-divorce matters such as custody arrangements or co-parenting plans, we’re here to help. Contact us today to discuss how we can assist you in creating a stable, positive future for your family.

‍